I overheard this conversation in a sandwich shop this morning. It was between a middle-aged lady behind the counter and a middle-aged builder.

Staff: Would you like mayonnaise in that, love?

Customer: What’s that?

Staff: It’s a spread. It’s quite sweet. It’s a French thing.

Customer: Erm, yeah, okay, I’ll give it a try.

…Who doesn’t know what mayonnaise is?!

This is a genuine conversation I had with a young lad in a rural petrol station on Saturday. I think he was bored.

Me: Number 7 please.

Him: Okay. (PAUSE) Do you like David Beckham’s beard?

Me: Erm, it’s ok, yeah.

Him: It’s okay isn’t it?

Me: Yeah, well as you can see, I favour a beard myself.

Him: Makes him look like a man.

Me: If you like.

Him: Some companies don’t allow it.

Me: Hmmm, well that’s their loss.

Him: Yeah.

Me: Well, see you later.

It’s time for Shakira to retire – her hips are tired, but who can wear her crown? The answer is singer/dancer Banderson!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCGPK4q_ieI

I like Mika’s new song, I like David Brent’s Freelove Freeway, if only there was a way to listen to the two together?  Well I’ve made this so you can do just that!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsVx2z58EG8

http://www.funnyordie.co.uk/videos/4d3b45d547/mika-vs-david-brent

After having the chorus to this stuck in my head, there was nothing left to do but record it. Do I feel guilty clogging up the net with a song about pork pies?… Well, yes, yes I do. A big schnapps to Tony Black and Wielhelm for loaning their larynx.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–3pip0mSHM

Tiny Tennis Boy is online.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP9CcoQU7-U

If you slide your email into the box on the right, I’ll update you when an update of vague significance has happened.  Only time will tell how often that will be.

…and it’s pointless.  Hooray!