This is a true, if rather obsessive story.

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I crouched amongst the long grass and waited. In the distance a moose idly-chomped in the bright Yukon sunlight. The day was perfect for hunting and if all went to plan I would return home a hero.

With no time to waste, I raised my gun, pulling it tightly into my shoulder. With my breath held, I lined up the sight, aiming directly at the beast’s heart for a clean kill. I squeezed the trigger. The shot fired off with ease and a split second later my target lay dead on the floor. Startled, a second moose, far bigger than the first, entered my sights. I pulled the trigger once more, catching it painfully in the leg. It kept running but my next shot saw it run no more and it slumped lifelessly to the ground. A third came from the forest. Obscured by trees, a clean shot was a harder proposition. I waited patiently and then released my final round at its head. The moose crashed into the grass, my heart pounding as it did so.

‘PERFECT SITE,’ came the large orange letters on the computer screen and with a proud smile I lowered the bright-green plastic gun. Around me, the bustling sounds of Southwold Pier Arcade filled the air. I was too engrossed, however, to hear the excited cries of children and parents alike, all trying to score points, win tokens or double their 2ps. The reason I was so engrossed? I had a score to settle and nothing was going to get in my way.

I frequently come to Southwold. With family living here it’s more of a second home than a holiday destination. It was on one of these regular visits that I discovered ‘Big Buck Hunter Pro,’ tucked away in the corner of the arcade. I would often spare a couple of pound coins for a quick go and always marvelled at the name that topped many of the high-score boards: ‘Mr T.’

It was during dinner one night with my sister, Helen, and her husband, David, that the shocking revelation came – he was Mr T! He had a whole host of impressive scores under his belt, whereas my scores weren’t even worthy to be saved. From that moment I knew what I had to do – I had to beat his high-scores and take position as ‘Number 1.’

For those who haven’t played ‘Big Buck Hunter Pro,’ it’s very simple (in premise). Over 3 treks of 5 rounds you have to shoot as many male animals as possible (three in each round). Points are awarded for accuracy and any additional ‘critters’ you happen to hit. You can choose ‘adventures’ to hunt moose, elk, deer, horned sheep or antelope and Mr T was number-one on three of them – the question was: for how much longer?

I settled on a moose trek for my first self-set challenge and happily pumped some pound coins into the slot. My first few attempts were far from record breakers. The next batch, not much better. As time went on, however, I gradually racked up the points until I was ranked at an impressive 10^th on the score-board. By this time two days had come and gone and my chances of beating David looked decidedly shaky.

On the third day, with an aching trigger-finger, painful wrist and tender shoulder, I realised the only way to achieve my goal – a ‘Perfect Streak’ of all 15 rounds! It meant killing all 45 animals and clocking up some powerful bonuses. The only problem was that I was running out of pound coins (re-mortgaging the house and investing it in the game wasn’t an option) and in a couple of hours I would be leaving for home. So, with the clock ticking I raised my gun once more.

It was time to leave. My final ‘adventure’ was over. I gave all the levels my best shot (no pun intended) and now I had to say goodbye. Would I return a hero? Could I look fellow hunters in the eye? Was Mr T still top of the score-board? – Was he bollocks!