I overheard this conversation in a sandwich shop this morning. It was between a middle-aged lady behind the counter and a middle-aged builder. Staff: Would you like mayonnaise in that, love? Customer: What’s that? Staff: It’s a spread. It’s quite sweet. It’s a French thing. Customer: Erm, yeah, okay, I’ll give it a try. …Who [...]

This is a genuine conversation I had with a young lad in a rural petrol station on Saturday. I think he was bored. Me: Number 7 please. Him: Okay. (PAUSE) Do you like David Beckham’s beard? Me: Erm, it’s ok, yeah. Him: It’s okay isn’t it? Me: Yeah, well as you can see, I favour [...]